Life is wild and I am so glad you’re here.
literally me spiraling on stage at my monthly queer stand up show, Gay Shame at Union Hall in Brooklyn. Shame is my brand baby, get on board.
Hi! Welcome to Shame Spiral: the newsletter, for twice-ish a week funny & disarmingly honest missives from my spiraling brain, topics including but not limited to: recovery, queerness, aging, art, mental health, parenting, existential angst, love, sex, the agony & excellence of being alive, PLUS all things related to Shame Spiral Podcast that can’t fit on the pod.
Why should you subscribe? I’m so glad you asked.
Some Real Talk:
(CW: earnest, vulnerable, embarrassing, etc etc etc)
I started this Substack when I realized, following what was meant to be a short hiatus from Shame Spiral back in late November (due to a feature screenplay deadline that I had procrastinated to a SHAMEFUL degree) that I couldn’t afford to keep making the podcast anymore in my current set up. It’s indie and ad-free, and so for over a year since its inception, it had only been costing me $$$- rather than making it or even breaking even.
I ADORE the podcast, am obsessed w talking to people I admire about shame, and I love playing a small role in the work of destigmatizing shame collectively, and doing so while laughing and allowing for darkness and not being precious etc etc etc.
Once I started perusing Substack, it also awakened in me a part of myself I hadn’t been attending to as much in recent years while more focused on stand up comedy, screenwriting and shorter form content: my roots in creative non-fiction, angsty memoir-ish confessional missives, basically my more literary self! Oh, how I missed her and her metaphor-happy ways!
SO, all of that to say: my recently concocted dream is that this Substack eventually, via paid subscriptions, allows me to resume production of Shame Spiral Pod and ensures that I can keep it going. I did the math and I only need about 100 paid subscribers as a start, to break even and make the pod without *losing* money on it.
Meta moment: it feels SO humiliating and shameful to ask for support in this way and lowkey makes me want to post this and immediately throw my phone into the sea!!!! But pushing through it anyway, because it does seem like the only way to get support for your work is to be honest and vulnerable, and to ask. Barf city, I know.
Important: if you can’t swing a paid subscription, I obviously completely relate and it is still SUPER helpful, supportive and appreciated if you sign up for a free subscription, join the community I’m building here and/or share my Substack with friends! I’m so grateful to everyone who supports me and has subscribed so far in whichever form. and I’m SO looking forward to continuing to share my more long-form writerly spirals on here with everybody, and I CANNOT WAIT to be able to have doing that mean I can launch season 2 of Shame Spiral! There is so much more spiraling to share beyond just mine, and honey I want to give it to you!
Besides my undying gratitude, here’s what a subscription grants you:
As a free subscriber , you’ll gain access to frequent public posts that include the following:
Weekly shame stories aplenty
Funny and (hopefully) relatable missives on life, love, parenting, recovery, aging, creativity, the existential agony of having to make a stupid little dinner every day of your life, etc etc etc
Creative nonfiction, mostly chronicling the misadventures of my 20s
My psychoanalyzing/diagnosis of some of our favorite film & tv characters
Debriefs/neurotic processing of episodes including my embarrassing reflections on interviews with famous guests
Weird/ funny/angsty haikus about trying to find joy in end-stage capitalism
If you upgrade to a paid subscription, you’ll get FULL ACCESS to all of that and also:
Bonus video & audio content from me and the pod
forever access to the publication archives
The ability to comment on posts and group chat bond with me and your spiraling fellows
The ability to bond even FURTHER in occasional ZOOM HANGS with me & friends
Giveaway tickets to my monthly queer comedy show Gay Shame Comedy Show at Union Hall in Brooklyn, NY and soon-to-be-coming live recordings of Shame Spiral!
The opportunity to share your own shame game scenarios and personal shame stories, and perhaps even hear them ON THE POD!
Merch and shoutouts on the pod and the chance to share your spiral directly with me and receive some unhinged advice…
More stuff I haven’t dreamed up yet
My never-ending gratitude. Shame Spiral is a labor of love, and your support helps make it and all the work I do possible. Truly.
So what are you waiting for babe? I truly believe that nothing quiets or transforms a shame spiral like sharing it and laughing hard as hell about how ridiculous we all are, tormented by the impossible task of the human condition. It’s absurd and at the very least, we shouldn’t have to do it alone. So come on in, it’s messy in here but I think you’ll fit right in. <3
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